The king of your nightmares

The horror movie genre wouldn’t be complete without the slasher film legends of Jason Voorhees, Freddy Krueger, and Michael Myers.

Jason as a boy ‘drown’ at camp while the two teenagers who were supposed to be supervising while he was swimming were off somewhere having sex. The films center around either his revenge for the death of his mother (who killed those teenagers in revenge for the death of her son and was beheaded) or just gore for gore’s sake. If you were to dress as Jason for Halloween, all you would need are some casual clothes, a jaceket, a hockey mask, and some kind of weapon to kill with. A machete is generally the best choice.

Freddy was a despicable man who murdered children, but the law was not able to punish him accordingly so the parents of those children (and others) trapped him in a building and burnt him alive. Instead of simply being killed though, he became the stuff of their nightmares; literally. He manages to continue existing in the dream realm, but if he is in your dream and he hurts you; you will wake up with the same damage he inflicted. The look of this man is possibly the most fear-inducing of the three and hardest to replicate without wearing a mask. His skin is peeling and scorched, revealing muscle underneath, he wears black pants, normal black shoes, a red and green striped sweater, a black fedora hat, and his right hand is covered by a glove which razor sharp blades attached to each finger.

Michael Myers killed in his movies simply because he was insane. Insane, and possibly evil from birth. He wears a dark colored jumpsuit and a white mask with light brown hair attached. Bring a knife with you to the party for this one, he gets in stabby moods sometimes.

Of course all of these men/monsters are well known enough that merchandise has bubbled up around their movie empires and there are plenty of places to purchase all of the items I mentioned. This is one of those cases where it would be so much easier and cheaper to buy the costume, that attempting to make it yourself just seems silly.

Chick Magnet

I recognize that not everyone has the same sense of humor, but I’m going to start this off with something silly anyway. One of the costume staples of every Halloween is the guy that comes to the party as something so terribly cheesy that everyone has to laugh. It really wouldn’t be a complete well rounded group of partiers if he wasn’t there, right? So what do you do if you’re that guy, and you have a duty to uphold? Well, if I was him, I might consider the “Chick Magnet” costume.

A version of this costume is readily available to buy on many websites and is easy as heck to put on. It’s basically a gigantic foam “U” shape, that is mostly red except for a silver parts on the ends; and attached to those silver parts are little yellow chicks. Unless all of your friends are new to this country and/or are really behind on American slang, the joke will be obvious. But the best part of it is that you wear whatever you want, and just place this thing around your neck and strike a pose like Fonzie. Bam! Instant costume. If you get tired of wearing it (or embarrassed, or someone else wants it off of you) it’s easy to remove and toss into the trunk of your car as well.

I have seen a more do-it-yourself version of the costume here that impressed me. Not in that it was very detailed or particularly fancy, but in that the wearer took the extra initiative to be funny. His costume was comprised of a grey long sleeved shirt with Barbie dolls in bathing suits attached to it. For added effect, he wore a mullet wig. So maybe you don’t find it funny? I do.

Ultimately, the best chick magnet costume to have would be the one where you have a picture of a magnet screen printed (or iron-on-transferred) on your shirt; and you’ve managed to get some of your hot woman-friends to accompany you to the party and drape themselves off you all night. If you happen to be a lesbian, this is when the costume idea goes from funny to awesome.

Either way, remember that it isn’t always about looking cool on Halloween. Having the confidence to be cheesy (and own it!) works just as well!