If you know what’s good for you, then you’ll know to only accept food and drink from certain people, people that you can trust. Oh, and you’re very aware of what is good for you as well as what is bad. As someone in a princess costume, it would not be surprising that at least one person out there in that grand wilderness we call society would be meaning to kill you. You’re not being foolish (not in the least!) and of course there is no such thing as being overly cautious. Cautious people remained alive, while gung-ho type persons that threw reason to the wind, did not. Not to say that you are the type of person who remains indoors constantly for fear of the unknown. You just happen to know the odds for how you will be killed, and they all favor ‘murder’.

poison

Today began like any other day; you woke, dressed, and bathed with the unnecessary help of your most trusted servant and meandered about the house popping in on relatives and servants alike but speaking with neither for an extended period of time. You came down to the breakfast table and browsed the paper while sipping some tea. The tea today seemed hotter than usual, but maybe that wasn’t right. It seemed hotter inside you after you drank it, like a dull fire down your esophagus and in your stomach. You look at your butler inquisitively, and he looks back at you concerned. You ask him why he is making such a face and he responds that you don’t look well. It seems that just as he says so, you begin to feel quite unwell. Your pulse begins to race and your breathing picks up considerably. You stand, though you are not quite sure where you were meaning to go, and almost immediately collapse.

The last image you see before your eyelids grow heavy is his face, the face of your most trusted servant, your butler grinning down at you.

May we reconvene under the blood red moon,
-Black Widow

Last year in England, pairs of people began popping up at events that generally only cater to A-list celebrities. They were spotted at Wimbledon, The Harrods Summer Sale, and Elton John’s white tie ball. One even seemed to have his own chauffeur, and was driven to several of these events in style. Two notable couples were photographed; a man and woman with light hair and a man and woman with dark hair. All four wore matching black suits, grey-toned striped ties, black shirts and slacks. All four were missing something very crucial… their faces.

faceless

At first it was speculated that they were aliens, pranksters, protesters, or possibly a viral marketing campaign for an upcoming horror movie. Some even thought they could be celebrities that were sick of being photographed, and came to these events with no faces, in protest of the way a-listers are hounded by paparazzi. The alien theory was ruled out quickly when the photographs were reviewed and small holes were found that allowed these faceless individuals to breathe and see. That didn’t stop them from giving  people they walked past in the street (or sat next to at events) an absolute chill up their spine. Still, nobody knew what they were doing there, who sent them, or why.

Eventually all confused persons found facelesspeople.com and discovered that they were indeed a viral marketing campaign; for Lotus, advertising a new car. Anticlimactic in my opinion. But we can still imagine that those people were truly faceless, genetically engineered to exist without some orifices you and I take for granted. If they ever wanted to blend with the rest of the world, a good Halloween mask on the appropriate day might do the trick. Then again, they might be creepier staying just the way they are.

May we reconvene under the blood red moon,
-Black Widow

Vampire

There are certain things that you can dress up as for Halloween that NEVER seem to go out of style. They are myths and legends of times so long ago that we don’t even really know how they came about, or how the original tales went. Because they’ve been through so many generations, they have adapted in our popular culture time and time again to whatever we currently think is impressive or cool. So needless to say, being a vampire this Halloween would earn you a few thumbs up from friends, family, or co-workers.

First things first, whether you buy your costume or make it, there will be one crucial thing that will not be included; your fangs. If you don’t really care, and you’re just whipping together a costume for the sake of having one, there are a multitude of plastic inserts that go over your top (and sometimes bottom) row of teeth for less than five dollars. But these are uncomfortable to wear and you have to take them out every time you want to talk, eat or drink. Then you’re faced with the problem of where to put the saliva-covered plastic when it’s not in your mouth. Really, it’s just unattractive. For about $20 though, you can get a pair of perfectly natural looking tooth caps (I prefer ‘scarecrow’ brand) that you can mold to fit your canine teeth. After that short process is done, they are easy to snap on and off, but also hold tight when they’re in. You can speak and even eat with them in, and they look so real it’s concerning. Did I mention that they last for years and years?

Anyway, another thing you might want to consider is whether or not to paint your face. There are a lot of make-ups available to give yourself a completely blanched look, or to simply make your normal skin tone look paler. I would recommend the later, as it would look more natural. But the big question is ‘what do I wear?’

The current vampire craze sweeping the nation is that of young (looking) vampire teens in love. I read the first book to that series to see what all the fuss was about, and to be honest I really hated it. But hey, if Stephanie Myers can get non-readers to start down a path that eventually leads towards better literature then I won’t complain too much about it. Not here, anyway.

If you wanted to be one of her vampires, all you would need are regular clothes, and copious amounts of glitter. (As her vampires somehow avoid the fate of bursting into flame like most others and just sparkle in the sun instead) But say you wanted to actually have a decent costume, there are a few other routes you could take.

The ‘goth’ vampire is what most of the store-bought costumes look like. They usually feature a lot of black, with splashes of vibrant color like purples, reds, or sometimes blue. Velvets, pleather, and silken fabrics are often employed and they range from the usual caped blood-sucker, to the long flowing dress, to the corseted punk-esq. vampire. The prices aren’t bad for these, and they generally make a good impact. Adding some fake blood around your lips would add a nice touch as well for your Halloween costumes

But if you wanted to go above and beyond, you could take to heart the vampire lore that they are immortal, and pick a time period to dress from. There are hundreds of patterns, if you had the means to sew one of these masterpieces yourself. (If you sign up for the Joann’s newsletter you’d get coupons in the mail to help you, because these generally involve a ton of fabric.) But if you were going for the win at a party with a costume contest, this might very well earn it for you. Victorian-era vampire costumes are the most impressive and visually stunning of all of them, they also seem to be the most ‘authentic’.

It doesn’t really matter what type of vampire you decide to be this year, as long as you make the extra effort to ensure your costume doesn’t suck. Ha!