You’ve always loved nature, and you often go for walks through the woods behind your house to unwind after stressful days. You think it’s beautiful out there, and serene. So you slip on a pair of sneakers and tie your hair up. You leave your cell phone on the counter, because taking it with you would defeat the purpose of being out among the trees. It’s not that maybe you would get a phone call. You definitely would, and it would be somebody needing something from you, and well, it just wasn’t conducive to relaxation. You leave your house and head towards the trees, you’ve walked the same way enough times that a small path has been forged through the underbrush. You know it well enough that you follow the trail without needing to look down. Your eyes are elsewhere, taking in the scenery.

pile o snakes

A small noise snaps you out of your reverie, it sounded like a hiss. You hate snake outfits, and you always have. They slither and twist in unnatural ways, their scales and patterns, eyes, and of course their venomous qualities put you on edge and you really hope – as your look towards the origin of the sound – that it is not what you think it is. Unfortunately though, you were right. A long, snake as slithered onto the path directly in front of you and it looks like it has the capability to deliver a nasty bite. You stand still, nearly paralyzed by fear for a moment, then begin to back away slowly.

Without watching where you were going however, you do not see the second snake that had come up behind you. You step on its tail, and it in return clamps down on your calf, and injects venom straight through your pant leg. You yell out in pain and quickly reach down to pull it off of you. You throw it into the brush before it gets the chance to clamp down on your hand as well, and take off running towards your house.

After calling 911, you realize that running all the way back home had probably gotten the venom into your bloodstream faster, but you didn’t want to risk another bite from the first snake, or for the one you threw to come back angrier than before. But would a second bite be worse or better than the sprint home? You sink down to the kitchen floor and hope that the ambulance gets there in time.

May we reconvene under the blood red moon,
-Black Widow

Even if it’s not your favorite channel, everyone at some point or another has flipped to Animal Planet, Discovery, or the Travel Channel and watched a program or two. On these channels are some very enigmatic explorer/wildlife enthusiast types that draw you in with their excitement for nature and (sometimes) funny accents. They travel all over the planet and pick up wild animals with their bare hands so that viewers can get a better view and can learn something about these creatures that they might never see up close in their lifetimes. Why not be one of these explorers for Halloween? The costume is actually pretty simple -even if you choose not to buy it from a store or website- because a stereotype has emerged as to how these people dress.

steve irwin costume

First you should start with some heavy duty work boots, the kind that would provide the most protection against creatures of the wild should they decide to chomp down on your feet. Then a pair of thick socks to… absorb your foot sweat I imagine. Next in line are a pair of kaki or green cargo shorts. Cargo meaning pockets, lots of pockets for your nature adventures. A button down kaki shirt should also include pockets, as well as the logo for your television show, should you decide on a specific one. Last but not least you should have a big smile on your face and/or an amazing hat to keep that unforgiving sun out of your eyes. Almost like magic, your costume is complete!

No wildlife enthusiast is at home without a bit of nature however, so if you wanted to go that extra mile for your costume you could take with you a blow up crocodile pool toy, or a plush/rubber snake. You could put a bunch of plastic scorpions in a clear box and carry them around, or perhaps have a toy monkey sit on your shoulder. The most important thing is to have fun, and (if you want) to put on the weirdest accent you can possibly manage and narrate your observations on fellow party goers as if they were creatures in their natural habitat.

Happy exploring!